so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
