Say something about gay babies.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it