Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?