Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
