In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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