I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Damn victory sex feels great
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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