Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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