I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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