Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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