Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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