i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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