Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
