So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
