I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
