What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Your penis caused this!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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