I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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