Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
