So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
