I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
