Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize