have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
