Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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