after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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