If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
