woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
