since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize