biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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