Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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