do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
