Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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