$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
