That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
there was a trapeze. enough said
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
