I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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