I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
