1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
