if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
