yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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