it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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