I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
