dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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