i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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