I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
