is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
