i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
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theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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