Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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