Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
