Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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