please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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