hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
