Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You smell like stripper and shame
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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