Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
