my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
