From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
