Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
