I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
