Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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