He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
