tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
