How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
