my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
