sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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