Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
either way he was missing a nipple.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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