Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
BRING THE BAGELS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
