you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
