I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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